Waking Up Dead
by OfCakeAndIceCream
Summary: Eric could not save Sookie in time when the bomb went off, and as she lays dying he asks her once more to trust him, right before he turns her. Trial and error as Sookie and Eric attempt to negotiate their new 'relationship'.  Spoilers for Seasons 1 & 2.


**Author's Note: **Well, here it is at last! My contribution to _VampireBigBang_ on LJ. Now this got a LITTLE more lengthy then intended so this is just part one, I'm thinking of making this a series of one-shots. Or maybe a chaptered? Who knows! Just please let me know what you think in a review!

A special thank you to _dhfreak_ and _Javidan _from livejournal for doing the mix and art (respectively) for this fic! It's been a long few months and I there were times I myself doubted if I'd be able to finish the required 10,000 words. However that word count was exceeded! The fic ends at an astounding (for me at least!) 11,816 words!

Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy all the time and effort we all put into this story. I will post links to mix and art on my profile when I get the chance.

**DISCLAIMER: Characters are the property of their respective owners, not me.**

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Human

Waking up dead.

It's an oxymoron. Well, at least it was until Vampire's had 'come out of the coffin' two years ago.

I remember when I'd first met Bill. I remember the pale glow of his skin and the silence in my mind. The first true silence that I had ever experienced, I remember saving him from the Rattrays, I remember him saving me by giving me his blood. I remember falling in love with him. I remember him staking Long Shadow to save me. I remember him burning in the light trying to save me from Rene. I remember meeting Jessica; I remember realizing that Bill had lied to me. I remember Lorena, Bill's Maker. I remember Luke walking into Godric's home with a bomb strapped to his chest.

I remember when I'd first met Eric. I remember thinking that he was beautiful and terrifying. I remember his cold and amused gaze; I remember that grin that I would grow to despise. I remember Lafayette trapped in Eric's basement. I remember slapping him and the joy that had been short lived as he snarled at me. I remember thinking him a monster. I remember going to Dallas to find the missing Sheriff because of him. I remember him kneeling before his Maker; I remember seeing in his eyes emotions that I didn't think him capable of. I remember him telling me to trust him.

I remember the pieces of Luke's bomb ripping through my flesh.

I remember as soon as I hit the ground Eric was on top of me, pieces of silver sticking out of his chest and face, as he looked down at me eyes wide and fangs fully extended. I remember that I thought my heart should be racing but it was slowing, my eyes had felt so heavy and every gasp for breath burned my lungs.

"Trust me." Eric's voice was so silky yet so rough all at once. I remember feeling his large hand lightly cup my cheek and I remember thinking that I should feel disgusted, that I should scream with my last breath for Bill. I remember thinking that I should tell Eric to go to hell.

I remember nodding.

I remember his fangs sinking into me.

I remember him turning me.

_Child_

The second time that I was born the earth was my mother.

I didn't have to claw my way out of the ground like Jessica had, the moment my eyes snapped open for what felt like the first time I was already being pulled out of the ground by two large and powerful hands. I gasped for breath and though my lungs filled there was no relief that accompanied it. I felt arms tighten around me and I buried my face into the chest before me out of instinct. So many emotions welled up inside me. Anger and confusion mixed with an odd sense of comfort and safety.

Then it hit me. The hunger.

"Sookie." _His_ voice filled my entire being, breathing life and focus into me. I looked up into his clear blue eyes and the burning hunger lessened slightly, to the point where my thoughts were clear enough so that anger could overtake me.

"Don't touch me," I hissed attempting to shove Eric away. I was just trying to get him _away_ from me, so that I could stop _feeling him. _It was as if he was inside me, crawling into every nook and cranny of my mind, of my body, of my soul. Each painful breath pulled more and more of him inside me. "What did you _do _to me Eric?" The question slipped past my lips but I knew, sweet Lord in heaven I don't know how but I knew what had happened.

"I think you know Miss Stackhouse." Was his simple response, his cool blue eyes never leaving mine and though I tried I couldn't look away. The memory was so hazy but I knew what I was now, I knew that I was no longer human; I knew that my old life was lost to me. I also knew that I would have been dead, truly dead if not for the Vampire before me.

I just wasn't sure if that split second where I had trusted Eric was the worst mistake of my life.

_Life. _I wasn't even _alive_ anymore.

"Let me go Eric," I whispered and this time when I pulled away he released me, I staggered and fell to the ground cursing under my breath. Slowly I picked myself up, rising to my feet trying not to sway as I did so. Even something so simple as standing up felt new and terrifying. I could feel every speck of dirt on my skin, I could hear the soft rustling of the leaves, and everything was magnified to the point that it was nearly unbearable.

"You must calm yourself Sookie, listen to my voice and push it to the side." Eric's voice snaked around me, and though his voice was soft I could hear him more clearly then I had ever heard anything in my life. It was as if Eric had reached inside of me as he spoke to me, reached the deepest part of my heart and soul. I felt so close to him and yet too far, every part of me wanted nothing more then to rush to his side because instinctively I knew that he would take care of me.

It terrified me.

"Sookie." His voice was firmer this time and held just a hint of command, a part of me wanted nothing more then to turn around and shout that I didn't take orders from him. That I didn't need him. I knew I did though, something instinctual told me to trust this Vampire who had killed me. This Vampire who had used and manipulated me, who had tortured Lafayette, this Vampire who-

...This Vampire who was my Maker.

_Maker._

Eric's words from the previous evening crept into my mind. _"Do not use words you do not understand."_

_"Maker_," I whispered softly as I turned back to face him. He was standing now as well; his black tank top was ripped and covered in dirt and blood. His lips were stained with flakes of dried blood. My blood. "_Maker_." I repeated the word over and over again, not understanding fully why and yet understanding completely.

"Not quite, not yet." I looked at him obviously confused by his words. He looked down at me his face betrayed no emotion, it was as if he had been carved from stone, nothing but a far too beautiful statue that was far more dangerous then it appeared. "There is more to being a Maker then simply taking blood and replacing it, something you can tell that Mr. Compton is failing at miserably." My eyes widened, Bill!

"I want to see Bill."

"No." There was finality in Eric's tone that shook me to the bone, and though my mind and body screamed at me not to question him I refused give in and give up who I had been, who I still was.

"You can _not_ tell me what to do Eric Northman." The words sounded hollow even to my ears, no matter how much force I tried to put behind them; quickly I looked away from Eric who had simply raised an eyebrow in response to my statement.

"Now Sookie, you know that's not true," Eric practically purred my name and I could feel him approaching me. His long fingers lightly touched my chin, tilting it slightly so that I would have to look up -and up- at him. His pale blue eyes locked onto mine and I could feel my heart catch in my throat. I was certain that I would have felt it beating a mile a minute, if it was still beating.

"I'm dead. I'm...really dead." I would never be able to lie out in the sun for a tan again, I'd never be able to enjoy a cheeseburger or French fries, and I'd never be able to live in my house again.

"No Sookie, for the first time you're _alive_." I frowned at him, I wanted to scream at him that of course I was dead, no heart beat no "brain waves" meant dead didn't it? "Remember how you felt when you first rose, before you blocked everything out. You are a part of _life_ now Sookie, you can hear and feel everything in this world as if it were a part of you. Your heart may no longer beat, but the blood that flows within you, _our_ blood is life." I knew when he said 'our' that he was not referring to Vampires as a whole but to his blood, to my own blood. I was irrevocably linked with Eric for eternity.

Was it because he was my Maker that the thought no longer made me want to vomit?

"Come Sookie, your brother wishes to see you." My eyes widened, how could I possibly have forgotten about Jason? At least if he wanted to see me that meant he had survived the explosion, right? I hoped Jason wasn't a Vampire; he would make an absolutely terrible one. "After that I will take you to feed."

"I don't want to eat people," I said a hint of fear creeping into my voice as my eyes widened. "I'll just drink True Blood." Eric looked down at me on eyebrow raised in a way that oddly reminded me of Gran when she thought I was doing something terribly foolish.

"Not only is that blood substitute completely vile, it is not suitable for a new Vampire. You need to learn how to use your fangs properly, and how to feed with out killing." I frowned at Eric unsure of what he meant and Eric laughed. "No Vampire can live off True Blood alone no matter what Bill Compton might have told you, he has fed off you has he not?"

"That's none of your damn business," I snapped and Eric chuckled again.

"My point exactly, but while an older Vampire may be able to make due with a minimum of human blood a new Vampire such as yourself needs it, craves it. Without it you will probably attack a human and drain them dry before you can regain control of yourself." My eyes widened and I shook my head vehemently, ignoring the dirt that flew off my hair as I did so.

"No I wouldn't do something like that." Yet even as I said those words I could feel my stomach clench and my mouth begin to water at the thought of blood. What was wrong with me?

"You wouldn't be able to help yourself. Think of it this way," Eric paused for a moment glancing up at the sky as he thought. "If a human is dehydrated, and has been thirsting for days upon days. If presented with a large bottle of water they would with out a doubt drink it quickly and in the process they would kill themselves." I nodded slowly remembering the many cautions from P.E. class about drinking the proper amount of water. "It is similar with Vampires, except humans are the ones that die."

"I don't want to hurt or kill anyone Eric."

"You've killed a man before." I wondered how he knew about Rene but didn't ask. Eric was the Sheriff of Area Five -whatever _that_ meant- and I had the feeling that he had his fingers in many pies.

"That was in self defense."

"And if you killed a human when you were starving it would be in self preservation." Eric talked about killing in such a nonchalant way that it scared me. Would I become like this? Would the taking of a life begin to mean nothing to me? Would I hear stories on the news of people killed in horrible car accidents and only think 'what a waste of blood'? I didn't want to become that; I couldn't let myself become that.

"I don't want to eat people," I repeated firmly, suddenly Eric reached out and grabbed me by my shoulders holding me still as he leaned down to meet my eyes his face mere inches from mine. I took a deep unnecessary breath and swallowed forcing myself not to look away.

"I will _not_ allow you to commit unintentional suicide Sookie. Nor will I allow you to kill anyone, you have my word as your Maker." I wanted to ask Eric what his word really meant but I held myself back for once. "You can also be sure that I will not command you to do anything unless it is absolutely necessary for your survival or mine." We stared at one another for several more moments as I digested what he had just said. Finally I relented nodding slowly and his grip loosened ever so slightly. "Come, your brother is waiting." And with one arm wrapped around my shoulders he began to walk us away from the place of my rebirth and back into the world. I did not protest or try to shake him off because I had finally admitted to myself that I _needed_ Eric. At least for a while until I learned more about being a Vampire.

"Can I take a shower first?"

"Yes." Silence reigned for several more moments as I mulled over my next question.

"When will you release me?" I asked quietly as we walked thinking back to Bill's words about Lorena.

"Godric has not released me, I did not wish to be released. Nor has Pam made that request of me." I frowned not understanding why anyone like Eric -or Pam for that matter- would allow another Vampire to have that much control over them. I certainly didn't want Eric having control over me for the rest of my existence, however long that may be.

"Why?" I asked looking up at Eric as he continued walking us up the path.

"You will see." And with that we fell into silence, as I looked off entirely lost in my thoughts.

**Maker**

Watching Sookie interact with her brother was annoyingly...human.

They hugged, they cried, the brother had seen Sookie's tears of blood and cried more, he had promised that it didn't matter that she was a Vampire she was his sister and he loved her...blah blah blah.

The two sat across from one another in a private booth at the bar in Hotel Carmilla as I stood in the near empty lobby to give them some semblance of privacy. Why I had done so I wasn't entirely sure, but I had felt it would be best for Sookie to have some relatively private time with her brother. Yet I was careful not to stray terribly far, only fools such as Bill Compton would leave a newly made Vampire alone, especially around humans. The process of the change was a long and complicated one, and every Vampire reacted differently. One resounding similarity though was that new Vampires had terrible impulse control. If Sookie's idiotic brother so much as got a paper cut there was a very good chance that she would drain him dry, and if she killed her brother she would never forgive herself.

I was not so far gone as to have forgotten the bond to a human family.

"Has she fed yet?" The soft voice of my Maker brought my attention across the lobby. Godric stood there watching Sookie and her brother with an almost serene expression on his face mixed with perhaps a bit of...longing?

"No, she wished to speak with her brother first." I said and Godric simply inclined his head. Despite over 1,000 years of history between us there were times that I found Godric incredibly difficult to read. Never had I seen him like this, and it was gnawing at me in the back of my mind. Carefully I reached out through the bond that linked Maker and Child but found myself closed off for the first time in centuries. My eyes widened slightly but Godric did not turn to look at me, simply acting as though nothing was wrong. Where once our bond had sung and I could hear and feel him clearly, I now found nothing but a cold wall.

"Human emotion," Godric said laughing softly though it held none of the mocking contempt one might expect from a Vampire. "It is a beautiful thing Eric, they live and feel so freely, it makes me wonder how much we have lost in the transition." It was very rare for me to be at a loss of words but as my Maker spoke I did not know what to say. It made me wonder if even after all those centuries together if I understood him at all.

"Sookie is no longer human," I said looking over at my Child as she dabbed her blood tears on a white napkin and her brother ruffled her hair.

"No, she is not," Godric agreed with a solemn nod. "And yet she is...she retains a light that far too many of us lose." Light. He spoke the word with a tone of wistfulness and awe, the one thing a Vampire had to truly fear and yet Godric spoke of it as if it were something to be revered. "Mr. Compton has already left with his charge." There was no question; he already knew that I had ordered Compton away.

"She is no longer his concern. She is mine." Sookie Stackhouse was mine; the human that I had once coveted was now my Child. Beholden to me and not to Bill Compton, yet the words felt hollow to me and I could not figure out why.

"I believe Miss Stackhouse would argue against that," Godric said with a little smile. I laughed quietly and smirked, no she most definitely would not like that at all. Still no matter how much she disliked it, it did not make it any less true. I had been the one to drain her blood and replace it with my own, I had been the one buried in the ground with her, and I was the one who felt the tenuous beginnings of a bond forming between us.

"Go to her, I had the meeting postponed for another evening." Ah so the bitch Flanagan was arriving in town after all.

"It's ridiculous that you have to attend in the first place," I growled. "Let me handle it Godric, I will-"

"Eric, I am not your concern." There was finality in his tone and a hint of an order that I could not help but obey. "Go and tend to your Child. We will speak more another time, yes?" I nodded in agreement though I was hesitant to leave my Maker alone so soon after what had happened with the Fellowship of the Sun. From what I had been told by Vampires staying at the hotel it had resulted in a complete and total shit storm that Flanagan was ever so neatly tweaking in just the right direction. Even if I despised bureaucrats there was no denying that she had a skill for turning nearly everything in our favor.

"Tomorrow evening." With that I turned and walked towards the bar, still unable to shake the sense of unease that had accompanied the end of our conversation. Sookie's brother was nursing what appeared to be his third beer, Sookie on the other hand still had a near entirely full bottle of O Negative resting on a coaster and the expression on her face whenever she glanced at the bottle was a mixture of disgust and hunger. She could not say that I hadn't warned her that the shit was absolutely vile.

"Sorry to break up this familial bonding, but it is time for Sookie and I to depart." Sookie looked up at me and glared, filled with the spark of annoyance and fear that always seemed to fill her gaze when she looked at me. It was good to see that she had not lost that; it was something that would make our time together amusing. For me at least.

"I'm not finished talking to Jason," Sookie said stubbornly.

"Nah Sook it's fine I'm gettin' a bit tired," her brother said stretching out his arm and yawning. At least the idiot could take a hint. "Besides y'all probably got Vampire stuff to go over an'...stuff." Jason Stackhouse pushed himself out of the booth and stood next to me, looking up at me and standing straight as if trying to make himself appear more threatening then he was. As if he could ever be a threat to me. "You take good care of her ya hear me? Or I'm gonna carve a stake with your name on it." I raised an eyebrow not dignifying his supposed show of protection with any other response. What surprised me was what he said when he turned to speak with his sister. "You should listen to him Sook, an' pay attention."

"Jason!" Sookie said her eyes widening in surprise. I wondered if she could still read human thoughts, or if perhaps the ability had been transferred to being able to read Vampires? I frowned inwardly; it was something that we would have to discuss.

"Wha? Sook, it takes a lot to learn to be a person. Shit I'm still learnin', but I'm sure it takes a lot to learn to be a Vampire too...don' get so stubborn you don't listen. That's what's gotten me into a lot of shit." How interesting, sometimes even complete idiots said things that sounded almost intelligent. I watched as Jason hugged Sookie and said good night before departing off to the elevator. After he was out of sight I turned back to look at Sookie who was glaring at her bottle of True Blood with absolute loathing.

"Was it everything you thought it would be?" I asked mockingly, Sookie turned her glare towards me before unscrewing the cap and taking two large gulps.

"It's...fine." Though the expression on her face said it was anything but, it reminded me of the first time Pam had tried True Blood. Though she had chosen far different words to describe the 'blood'.

"You look like you're ready to vomit." The last time I had seen a Vampire vomit outside of being staked was during the Plague in the 1300's, when a new Vampire decided to drain a nearly dead Plague victim. The expression on his face had been absolutely hysterical.

"I'm fine." Sookie repeated stubbornly. "Maybe this just isn't...the blood type I like."

"The difference between them is hardly discernible, to get a true feeling for your preference you have to take it straight from the source." Vampires had been aware of different blood types far longer then humans had, each blood type had a different 'bite' to it some would say. There were certain factors that could be enhanced depending on the life style of the human to whom it belonged.

"I don't want to feed from people. It just...wouldn't feel right."

"You're thinking like a human, you're _not _human anymore." I wondered how long it would take for that fact to sink in, I wondered how long she would try to deny the changes in her body, I wondered how long she would be able to resist Vampire nature.

"It's not like turning off a light switch Eric! Not for me anyway." I fought the urge to roll my eyes; this was why it had been so much simpler before the Great Revelation. Then she would not have had a choice but to completely shut herself off from human society, she would have figured out very soon that human weaknesses were something that would get her killed. It would also reflect poorly upon me, a weak child was a stain upon a Maker's reputation considered nothing more then a waste of blood that should be put down rather then be allowed to exist.

"Well you better learn to keep your emotions in check," I growled leaning in closely using my arms to block off any attempt of escape. Sookie's eyes widened and she scrambled towards the wall. "You are my child, your actions reflect upon me." Sookie opened her mouth probably to 'charmingly' tell me that she didn't give a damn but I cut her off quickly. "Most new Vampire's don't make it through their first year, there's a reason for that. We are expected to...prune those who are considered a waste of the blood."

"That's...that's so cruel," Sookie said softly and I simply raised my shoulders in a shrug.

"It is a throw back to a more archaic time, yes. It is a very bad idea to be seen as a weak Vampire Sookie." I pulled away and gestured for her to follow me. "Now come with me, it is best we continue this discussion in private."

"I think I'll just go to my room and try and stomach more of this," Sookie said holding up the bottle with a hint of disgust on her face.

"Your things have been moved to my room." I turned and began to walk away a small smirk playing at my lips as I heard her cursing my name. "Come along Sookie, let's not cause a scene."

"Fuck you Eric Northman," Sookie snapped but I could hear her soft footsteps trailing behind me. Perhaps she was not as entirely brainless as she seemed from time to time.

"Only if you ask nicely."

_Child_

My mouth was at his wrist, my eyes were clamped shut and it was proving very difficult not to moan in ecstasy. It should have disgusted me that I was curled up to Eric on his bed, drinking his blood. Yet it felt like the rational part of my brain wasn't working anymore, it scared and exhilarated me all at once. This wasn't me, was it? I wasn't like this, was I? Was Eric doing this to me intentionally? Did I care if he was? The moment he had bitten his wrist and offered it to me I had all but attacked him, latching onto his wrist and biting down before I could even think of stopping myself.

"That's enough for now, don't expect me to baby to you in the future Sookie." Eric's voice snapped me out of my stupor and pulled away slowly taking deep and steady breaths. Useless considering that I didn't have to breathe anymore but I couldn't help myself, I licked my lips tasting the sweet spice of Eric's blood on my lips and I stared at him wide eyed as he leisurely licked the remaining blood off his wrist. I scrambled backwards, my hands slipping on the silk sheets as I tried to get away from him. Far away from him.

"What...what the hell did you do to me Eric?" I felt hot, like every fiber of my being was burning but I didn't feel pain. All I felt was this inexplicable urge to be near him, to stay with him. _This isn't me, this is not me. He's done something to me, this isn't you Sookie you have to snap out of it..._I told myself and kept repeating it in my mind over and over again.

"A Maker's blood is one of the most exquisite treats for a Vampire. It is impossible to resist and will heal nearly any damage done to us, for example if one of our kind is infected by Hepatitis D the most effective cure is blood from their Maker. If a Vampire's Maker is...not available, a fellow Child of the same Vampire is an effective substitute," he explained sitting up slightly tilting his head to the side as he observed me through those cold and calm blue eyes that betrayed absolutely nothing. "However I gave you my blood tonight to make sure you retain your strength, we have a meeting to attend tomorrow evening and I cannot have you appearing weak."

"God forbid I tarnish your reputation," I snapped sarcastically.

"I am more concerned about Godric then myself," Eric said as he began removing his boots. "Sookie, have you retained your gift?" My eyes widened, I was surprised he had come out and asked me so bluntly. I would have thought Eric would try and squeeze and manipulate the information out of me.

"I can hear Jason still," I admitted not seeing any point in lying to Eric. Something told me he would know if I was lying to him.

"Can you hear Vampires?" Eric asked and I frowned at the question, though if I were entirely honest I had been wondering the same thing and I had been sure to keep my shields up and strong. I had always liked the silence that came with being around Vampires, and I knew that being able to hear their -or rather our- thoughts now would be as good as signing my own death warrant. Hesitantly I closed my eyes and lowered my shields, nothing greeted me but a steady silence.

"No, thank God," I said letting out a heavy sigh of relief as I opened my eyes to see Eric standing mere inches from me with his head lowered so that he could look directly into my eyes. Nervously I bit my lip but immediately regretted it when my right fang pierced my lip. "Ouch! Shit!" I could feel droplets of blood leaking from the wound as Eric's eyes diverted downwards towards my lips. "Eric..." I said quietly taking a hesitant step back as he took one forward. "The fangs...how do I make them...go back?" Eric's own fangs were lowered and he let out what was definitely a soft growl and I swallowed nervously hesitantly licking the blood off my lips.

"Picture yourself putting on a mask, picture yourself smiling like you used to." His own fangs were fully lowered and he had not moved his eyes from my lips and while it was making me uncomfortable, it was also...exciting me. I looked away and clamped my eyes shut trying to focus on what Eric had told me to do and trying my best to ignore how close he felt. I heard a soft popping sound and felt my fangs flip back, replaced by my "normal" teeth. "Very nice..." I had a distinct feeling he wasn't talking about my newfound ability to make my fangs disappear.

"Where do I sleep?" Though I had a feeling I already knew the answer.

"With me," Eric said and I could practically hear his smirk. I was too exhausted to fight with him now though, it felt like my body was so heavy and the blood inside me felt thick.

"Eric, I trust you about as far as I can throw you." Which raised the question of how far I could throw him now, I didn't...feel stronger or faster. Yes my normal five senses were on over drive, but my physical body didn't feel the rush that I had felt after Bill had given me his blood.

"If I let you that would be a decent distance," Eric replied in a bored tone. I highly doubted he would let me, damn. "Do you feel it?"

"Feel what?" I said just as I was unable to suppress a yawn and the sudden wave of sleepiness that swept over me. "What...what is this?" I felt drowsy and heavy, as if someone had hit me with a tranquilizer dart, no matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes open the lids just kept getting heavier and heavier.

"The sun is rising," Eric said simply. "You are a young Vampire, you will not be able to resist the urge to rest. When you are able I would advise against doing so unless it is absolutely necessary."

"Why?" Though my inquiry was muffled as I yawned loudly moving towards the right side of the bed almost oblivious to the fact that Eric was even in the room.

"The bleeds."

"The bleeds?" I asked curiously as I pulled the covers back and sat down kicking off my sandals. I hated sleeping in my clothes, but I was just too tired to go change. Plus I didn't trust Eric being anywhere near me when I did have clothes on I had even less faith in him if I were partially naked.

"I will explain at another time, rest." There was a hint of a command in his voice but before I could protest I felt as though a wave of light followed quickly by a wave of darkness had slipped over me and I was dead to the world.

**Maker**

From the moment I had seen her, I had known Sookie Stackhouse would make an excellent Vampire.

Most wouldn't see past the blonde hair, the bright smile, and the pretty sun dresses. Then again, the first impression most people got of Pam in her 'normal' clothes was that she was a harmless soccer mom. Which only strengthened my opinion that most individuals -be they human, or vampire- were all idiots. Both of my Children had a certain 'spark' that as humans had made them stand out clearly from the rest of the 'vermin'.

Though where Pam's lack of sentiment had been very helpful in helping her move on from her human life, Sookie's sentiment would keep her holding on for dear life. Holding on to her brother, her friends. Yet soon time would start to pass, the first decade would pass slowly enough for her...but after that -and especially after the first century- time was a constant roll and haze of events and memories. Details were usually forgotten, though certain memories would always remain. What would she do when her brother and friends died as she stayed the same?

Yet she had taken to the bloodlust quite well already, and it was only a matter of time before she would be able to move past her hang-ups and learn to feed properly.

I felt a drop of blood trail out of my ear and drop onto my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, and if I had not been as old as I was I would have taken a deep breath and sighed.

I needed to rest; the meeting that would decide Godric's future was tonight. I had to save him from whatever it was that lurked behind his dark eyes, from whatever it was that he wouldn't let me touch.

_Child_

Becoming a Vampire -good Lord I still was not used to this at all- had not changed my view on Vampire politics. It was a lot of posturing, subtle -and not so subtle- threats, and outright viciousness. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife, and I could physically feel the rage rolling off Eric in waves. Just the way he was sitting, shoulders rolled over and elbows resting on his knees as he gripped his hands together spoke of tightly coiled anger, a thousand years of pissed off Vampire was sitting right next to me and yet I felt no threat or fear. If nothing else there was this little part of me gnawing at my gut telling me to _comfort_ him. That scared me more then how angry he was.

Maybe because his anger was not directed at me, rather at Nan Flanagan who sat across from us flanked by two burly Vampire guards in black suits. Though I knew that if Eric decided to attack none of them would be able to stop him.

Only Godric, who was sitting with a serene expression on his face as Nan Flanagan spat venomous words at him as well as the rest of us. Only speaking up to defend Isabel or take the blame for what happened upon himself. Each time Eric grew more and more tense, and I wondered what it would take for him to snap. The Eric I knew had absolutely no problem about letting his opinions be known, or threatening people to get his way. This quiet Eric was starting to make me very antsy; it was like swimming in the middle of the ocean and seeing a Great White's dorsal fin. You knew it was probably going to strike, you just didn't know when.

"Sheriff, you fucked up. You're fired." So much for Nan Flanagan being the nice friendly Vampire on TV, I should have figured out that it was all an act a while ago.

"I accept full responsibility for my actions," Godric said his tone completely calm. In fact he didn't look the least bit angry, instead he looked almost...relieved. "I would like to recommend Isabel for my replacement, she had no part in my disgrace." The dark haired Vampire's eyes widened at his words and she looked at him with a pained expression on her face.

"No, Godric should not be punished. I should have contained Stan the second Godric went missing-"

"This is fucking ridiculous," Eric's low voice managed to rise over Isabel's and fill the entire room. "Stand up for yourself! She's a fucking bureaucrat you don't have to take this shit from her!" Eric gestured towards Nan though his eyes remained locked onto Godric's and even though I couldn't hear it in his voice, I could _feel_ that he was pleading with Godric. Begging him even.

"You _want_ to lose your Area, Viking?" Nan Flanagan asked crossing her legs and looking at Eric as if he were a small annoyance and nothing more.

"Oh you don't have that kind of Authority," Eric growled as he turned away from Godric to glare at her. I frowned slightly confused at how he said 'Authority'; I would have to ask him about it later.

"Hey, I'm on TV. Try me."

"Look," I began hesitantly shifting uncomfortably as all eyes in the room shifted to me. "I might be really, really, new to this whole Vampire thing, but Godric is an amazing leader and he saved me from a-"

"New?" Nan Flanagan asked, and with a hint of interest that made me very uncomfortable all of a sudden. "How new?"

"The night of the bombing," I answered hesitantly as I glanced over at Eric for some sort of hint as to what to do. He gave me a small nod and I continued. "I was there with my-with Bill Compton, he'd left and then Luke came in and after he set off the bomb...well, you know." I'd died that night, and yet even talking about it now it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Could one night really change me that much? What else would change about me?

And I hadn't even referred to Bill as my _boyfriend_ anymore, something I knew Eric had taken notice of. Which raised the question, was he still my boyfriend? I still loved him, there wasn't a doubt in my mind but he had just...left. Sure Eric had probably had something to do with it but still, not a phone call...not a text message...nothing.

"The Viking is your Maker?" I nodded slowly not sure where she was going with this. "Did he turn you against your will?"

"No," Eric and I said together and with firm conviction. I didn't know where this conviction had quite come from but I couldn't deny that I had known what Eric had been asking me when he asked me to trust him, I wasn't that naive. I had never wanted to become a Vampire, I had wanted to stay in the sunshine where I could work on my tan and have picnic lunches with Tara and stare up at the clouds. I'd never have that now, but at least I would have something.

"You'll be perfect," Nan said as she gave me the once over. "You still look like a tan Southern Barbie doll. I'm borrowing her for an interview Viking, she'll be the last nail in the Newlin's coffins." She laughed at her own joke, though no one else did.

"Absolutely not," Eric snarled his fangs popping out as he moved to stand. Nan's bodyguards tensed slightly, obviously ready and waiting for him to attack.

"Eric, it's fine." Instinctively I reached out and rested a hand on Eric's thigh putting only enough pressure to ensure that it was noticed. Eric looked down at me an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes locked with mine and I gently squeezed his thigh, trying to some how communicate to him that it really was going to be all right.

Well, at least I hoped it would be.

"Just get this shit over with quickly," he growled a hint of anger creeping into his usually emotionless voice. Though I could hear-no, I could _feel_ that his anger wasn't directed at me. I nodded slowly and stood up as every other Vampire in the room stood as well.

"Godric, there's some paperwork for you to sign while we're setting up the camera. You, blond girl-"

"Sookie, my name is Sookie Stackhouse," I interrupted sharply. Nan simply arched a single carefully sculpted brow before laughing coldly; it took all my self-control not to shudder.

"You have balls, it's cute now but don't try it again sweetheart. Especially not with your elders." Nan gave me a sharp examining look before continuing. "Put on a bit more makeup for the camera, be ready and back here in 15 minutes." I nodded slowly in agreement, glancing over at Eric whose eyes were locked with Godric's. I wondered what they were trying to tell each other that the rest of us couldn't hear.

"I would like to apologize, to everyone," Godric said his soft voice still managing to fill the room. "For the pain I have caused, I will make amends. It will all be over, soon."

"No...Godric, no." I had never heard Eric's voice nearly crack in what sounded like pain, even as he had lain on the slab at the Fellowship of the Sun Church chained by silver his voice had been quiet but there had always been a certain strength to it. Yet I could tell by a single glance that there was something very, very wrong going on. And Eric looked...powerless.

Eric and powerless were two words I never expected to use in the same sentence.

"Oh come on, it's just a bit of paperwork," Nan said before walking out of the room trailed by her two bodyguards. Isabel was the first to follow, and then Godric moved to follow but Eric reached out as if to touch him but when Godric slowed Eric's hand seemed to freeze in mid air, mere inches away.

"Godric..."

"Meet me on the roof," Godric said and with that he left the room, and with those simple words...I knew.

"Eric," I said quietly as I felt my throat start to close off and my still heart clench in my chest. He ignored me, still staring out the door that Godric had walked through. Instinctively I reached towards him, not with my hand...with something else. Ever since I had been pulled out of the dirt last night, I had felt this connection between Eric and I. When I had woken up tonight I had felt him, even though he had been in the other room feeding. It was as if some part of his blood had tied us together, so that I could feel him at all times.

I wondered if it worked both ways.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and tried to focus like I did when I tried to enter someone's mind. Except I knew that it wasn't his mind I was reaching towards. It was something much deeper, much closer to the core of Eric's being.

A light brush and a rush of anxiety and pain flooded through me, and I found myself holding back tears but I knew that they were not my tears. They were Eric's.

Yet as soon as I touched the wall I found myself pushed out with a great deal of force.

"Go, now." Eric's words were clipped and harsh, and though I wanted to tell him that he had no right to tell me what to do I knew that Eric wanted to be alone right now.

Even if it was the last thing he needed.

**Maker**

Godric...

I had heard of old ones growing tired of life, I had heard of those who begged to meet the true death, I had laughed and thought them weak fools. Mad men and women who were not worthy of our gift of eternal life, only survivors deserved to live forever.

But Godric, _Godric_ who had taught me all I knew, who had turned a headstrong Viking with dreams of revenge into a calculated killer poised to take it at the first opportunity. Godric, who for over a millennia had always been there even when we were on different continents. A constant and comforting presence, a reminder of strength, and to me all that a Vampire should aspire to be. I would give anything to save him.

But how can you save someone who does not wish to be saved?

I had never felt so weak and powerless in my entire existence.

I looked up to the stair well that led to the roof, and then turned my head back to where Sookie was without a doubt being grilled by Nan Flanagan before she was going to be shoved in front of the cameras. I had been shocked when I felt her try to reach me through the bond; it took most Vampires' decades to be able to successfully reach their Makers. It had taken Sookie a single evening.

I pushed thoughts of my Child out of my mind; she would be fine for now.

I had to convince Godric to see reason, and I would keep him alive until he would.

_Child_

Watching Nan Flanagan talk to the News Reporter was disconcerting, though I tried not to let it show. She spoke with a calm eloquence and strength that had obviously come from centuries of practice, she appeared every inch the friendly moderate Vampire next door who stopped by at your Thanksgiving dinner and would happily sip a True Blood, and would certainly never dream of having any of the other dinner guests for dinner. All of which was a load of bullshit, evident from the busty brunette tucked off camera who was looking at Nan with lust filled eyes and stroking her inner thigh, which was covered in fang marks.

Never believe what you see on TV.

"Miss Stackhouse stands with me today as a survivor of the terrorist attack against Vampires organized and committed by a member of The Fellowship of the Sun," Nan Flanagan said her face the perfect mask of just the right amount of pity and resolution. As if she were standing by my side and comforting me through this horrible ordeal.

"The accusations against my Church are just absolutely ridiculous, when have you heard of a _Church_ being involved in such horrific acts?" Steve Newlin's voice drifted through the earpiece tucked into my right ear and I fought the urge to roll my eyes at his smug voice. Lord forgive me but I absolutely hated that man, and it blew my mind how one human being could be filled with so much twisted hate and anger. Granted Vampire's were most certainly not what they portrayed themselves to be to the mainstream media, but that didn't mean that they were all horrible people.

They, I shook my head inwardly. I still hadn't gotten entirely used to saying 'we'.

"The Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition, just to name two," Nan said calmly though I could practically feel the glee rolling off her in waves. She knew that Steve Newlin was emotionally compromised and unknowingly digging his own grave. Nan was just standing back and waiting to deliver a swift kick that would land him in so deep he would never be able to get out. "On top of her ordeal with the bombing that claimed the lives of Vampires as well as humans, when Miss Stackhouse went to your church to help a friend search for the missing Vampire you kidnapped she was the victim of attempted sexual assault by one of your members-"

"Now that is just absolutely preposterous!" Newlin interrupted but Nan continued onward unaffected by his interruption.

"If the Vampire you kidnapped had not managed to get there in time, who knows what might have become of her!" This woman deserved an Oscar for her acting skills, because we both knew that she didn't give a rat's behind about me. The people watching on TV however, would get an entirely different picture.

"There is not a single mark on Miss Stackhouse, and you expect me and the American people to believe you? How do we know you haven't hypnotized her into sitting there with you! Miss Stackhouse if you can hear me in there, Jesus loves you and will forgive you for your-"

"I am _not_ glamoured, and I would argue that you don't know the first thing about God's love after what _you've_ done," I snapped earning me a warning look from one of the body guards off camera. Nan placed what probably looked like a comforting hand on my shoulder but felt instead like a vice grip.

"It's alright Miss Stackhouse, tell everyone what happened." Which really meant 'tell everyone what happened while making Vampire's look like noble victims'. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment, praying for strength before I continued.

"I was at the house that Luke McDonald attacked, the person I had come with had left to escort someone out." 'Person I had come with'? Was that what Bill had become to me? "Shortly after he had left Luke walked in, he told us all that he had a message from Reverend Steve Newlin...then he opened his coat and detonated the bomb."

"I cannot be held responsible for the independent actions of-"

"He was a member of your Soldiers of the Sun Reverend Newlin you can't deny association with the terrorist." Nan snapped before turning to me and nodding 'comfortingly'. "Please continue Miss Stackhouse."

"Shards of silver flew everywhere, I...I really don't remember getting hit but I remember feeling pieces just cutting into me. Mostly my chest and stomach." I could vividly remember the intense pain as I had been knocked off my feet, crashing my head against a side corner table. "I hit my head after the impact, and I think it was bleeding pretty badly. I was dying." Lying on the ground covered in my own blood, debris, and the blood of others. Staring up at the ceiling and waiting for some sort of light or something to lead me away.

Instead I had seen Eric hovering over me, and I had heard his words.

"A Vampire I knew...he hadn't managed to get to me to protect me in time. He had pieces of silver sticking out of him everywhere but he still came to me, he...turned me." I wasn't human anymore, I was a Vampire and though it was getting easier to accept it still was painful. "Because of the 'message' you sent Reverend Newlin I'll never be able to go out into the sun again, I won't be able to go back to my old job, I'm not even sure if I'll be able to go back to my old town." I had always been the odd girl out in Bon Temps and I wasn't sure how they would react to crazy Sookie Stackhouse sprouting fangs.

"You lost those things because some Vampire _murdered _you-"

"I'm not finished," I said sharply. "He did _not_ murder me, I was going to die anyway. He asked me...he asked me if I trusted him and I did, I knew what he was asking and I agreed. Because even if I can't have any of those things again, I wasn't ready to die. I wasn't ready to never see my friends or my brother again, and I wasn't going to let some hate filled idiot be the reason why I couldn't do those things again." I could feel tears welling up behind my eyes and Nan quickly pressed a handkerchief into my hand patting my shoulder as I dabbed my corners of my eyes before the blood tears could drip down.

"Miss Stackhouse, I know this must have been extremely difficult for you and we applaud you for coming forward with your story." The News Caster's voice drifted through the speaker and I nodded my head towards the camera. "We're going to take a quick commercial break but we'll be back with more on this heart wrenching story." The red light on the camera dimmed and Nan pulled away a confident smirk on her face as she stood up.

"Good work, that bastard is going to have a public relations shit storm that he'll never be able to fix. He killed the pretty blonde girl and if it hadn't been for a Vampire she'd have left behind grieving friends and family," Nan said before turning to me and looking me over carefully. "Northman didn't fuck up entirely it seems. You can go back to your Maker now, I'll be able to handle the rest before sun rise."

I stood up saying nothing as I left the room, I could practically feel the sun just waiting to rise into the sky. Yet tonight, unlike the previous night I did not feel the uncontrollable wave of exhaustion. Instead I felt...a sense of urgency. I looked down the hall towards the two rooms, one that Bill and I had shared...and the other across the hall that I shared with Eric. Two different sides of my life, all changed by a single night. I turned away and looked towards the stairwell and walked towards it, the roof. I needed to get to the roof.

**_Loss_**

"Two thousand years is enough," I could hear Godric's voice drifting down towards me as I pushed the steel door to the roof open.

"I can't accept this." Eric. I slowly walked up the final steps, looking out at the scene before me. Godric and Eric stood on the helicopter pad, with Godric's back turned to Eric as he watched the outline of the sun on the skyline. "It's insanity!" The pain on Eric's face was visible as he gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists.

"Our existence is insanity," Godric said looking over his shoulder at me and smiling softly. "We don't belong here."

"But we are here!" Eric shouted vehemently, not turning back to acknowledge me, his eyes remaining fixed on Godric. I doubted anything would be able to tear his attention away.

"It's not right, _we're _not right." I wondered if I lived as long as Godric did if I would reach this point, if in two thousand years I would look at myself in the mirror and only be able to feel disgust.

"You taught me there is no right or wrong," Eric said taking a step forward. "Only survival…or death." Death, something that Eric would never choose. Not for me, not for himself, and certainly not for Godric.

"I told a lie, as it turns out." A small laugh crossed Godric's lips as he shook his head, not at Eric but at himself. As if he were ashamed with himself for the views that he had taught Eric, views that Eric lived by.

"I will keep you alive by force." Eric threatened and my eyes widened, I wondered if he would actually be able to do that.

"Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?" Godric had come up here to die, was this his way of making amends? As Eric pleaded with Godric in his long gone native tongue I stood there and stared, I wanted to tell Godric that there were so many other ways of making amends. Yet I knew that wasn't what Godric thought, in his mind this was the only way to atone...and no one was going to convince him otherwise. Not even as Eric dropped to his knees in front of Godric, the tall Viking warrior crying and begging with all his heart and soul in a language I could not understand but I knew all to well what he was trying to say.

The handkerchief had still been clenched in my hand and I wiped my eyes with it as I took a deep breath, this was nearly unbearable to watch. I felt like I should do something, anything. But I knew there was nothing.

"Farder, broter, soyn." Those words were close enough that I could guess what they meant. _Father, brother, son_. Was that what they had been to one another? Was that who Eric was about to lose this morning? Was that what our relationship would become like? One day would I be Eric, trying to prevent him from the true death? My gut clenched and I found that I didn't even want to think of the possibility. "Let me go."

"I won't let you die alone," Eric said softly and I felt my stomach lurch in horror. No, Eric couldn't leave me alone. He wouldn't.

"Yes, yes you will." Godric looked over at me and smiled softly. "You would not leave Sookie alone in this world, not now of all times." Eric turned to look at me for the first time since I had arrived on the roof. I felt the blood tears rolling down my cheeks but I didn't care, I couldn't lose him. I didn't know why but I knew I just couldn't.

"Eric..." I said softly, before biting my lower lip. I did not want to force him to make a decision like this.

"Eric, as your Maker...I command you." Godric looked at me knowingly, he reached out and gripped Eric's shoulders gently. Smiling down at him with a look of happiness on his face. "Find your joy Eric, and do not let go once you have it." Slowly Eric stood, drops of blood dripping to the ground as he slowly began to walk backwards away from Godric, turning away at the last possible moment. I reached out and gently grabbed his hand.

"I'll stay until I have to go inside," I told him softly. Eric nodded numbly, not meeting my eyes as he walked down the steps towards the doorway casting one last look at Godric and pausing just before stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"It won't take long, not at my age," Godric said as I walked towards him, looking nervously at the rising sun. Shouldn't I be feeling some sense of overwhelming sense of fear? Shouldn't I feel the urge to run inside and hide? Yet all I felt was...a little tired.

"You know it wasn't very smart, the Fellowship of the Sun part," I said trying to bring myself back to the matter at hand.

"I know," Godric acknowledged with a small shake of his head. "I...thought it might...fix everything some how. But I don't think like a Vampire anymore." I wondered silently if that was such a bad thing, I wondered if more Vampires' were like Godric if there would be such an overwhelming fear of them. Probably, Godric was so...beyond what I think most people would be able to grasp. "Do you believe in God?" He asked suddenly, startling me from my thoughts.

"Yes," I answered immediately and with a strong sense of conviction.

"If you're right, how will he punish me?" Godric asked a slight hint of nervousness creeping into his voice as he looked at me with confused eyes. I blinked several times, astonished.

"God doesn't punish, God forgives." I believed in a beautiful and forgiving God, not the hateful one that the likes of Steve Newlin preached about. God loved everyone, and he would forgive them as well.

"I don't deserve it. But I hope for it." Doubtlessly he was counting over the number of sins that he had committed in his long life.

"We all do." No matter how long we lived.

"You'll care for him?" Godric asked smiling slightly. "Eric." As if he had to specify. I looked back towards the stairwell to where Eric had disappeared back inside the hotel.

"I'm not sure...you know how he is." Eric was more stubborn then a bull, and I doubted anything I could say or do would get through that thick skull of his.

"I can take the blame for that too," Godric said laughing. I shook my head in disagreement.

"Maybe not, Eric's pretty much himself." Unabashedly so, it was one of his most admirable and most frustrating qualities. I looked out at the sun, creeping higher and higher. "Are you very afraid?" I should leave; I should turn and run away. Yet I found myself glued to the ground.

"No...no...I'm full of joy!" Godric cried as he looked between the sun and me. A look of total joy and bliss on his face that I had never seen in the short time that I had known him.

"But...but the pain!" I cried, the tears welling up in my eyes once more. Godric didn't deserve to burn alive, no one deserved it.

"I want to burn!" No fear, just joy in the face of a young man who was older that I could wrap my head around.

"Well...I'm afraid for you." I would feel fear for him, I would pray for him.

"A human with me at the end, and human tears. Two thousand years and I can still be surprised," Godric said as he reached out and brushed a tear away with his thumb.

"I'm not human anymore," I whispered shaking my head as I stepped away closer to the safety of the stairwell and the interior of the hotel.

"Yes you are, Sookie," Godric said as he turned away from me removing his white linen shirt. "In the most important way you are human Sookie. In this I see God." The sun, I could feel heat against my skin but I found myself unable to look away as Godric extended his arms outwards, walking towards the sun.

"Goodbye Godric!" I called as smoke began to rise from his skin, the smoke turned into a white blue flame that quickly consumed him and yet there was no cry of pain. There was nothing as the blue flame consumed his body and he simply faded into glimmering crystal like dust. I cried and turned towards the doorway reaching to open it before I paused and looked at my skin. The sun...it was on my skin, and yet I felt no pain. Hesitantly I stepped away from the door and back out onto the helipad squinting directly into the sun. No pain, no smoke, no flames. Nothing but the end of a chilly morning as the sun warmed my skin.

"What...what the fuck?"

_Child_

I drifted down the hallway towards the room in a daze. The sun hadn't hurt me, _the sun hadn't hurt me._

I had been a 'freak' among humans, was I going to be a freak amongst Vampire's now too?

Eric, what was I going to tell Eric? _How_ was I going to tell Eric? Was I even going to tell Eric? Was it even possible to keep secrets from him now? Could I do that after I had seen him stripped of all emotional walls crying and begging Godric not to leave him?

Questions without answers filled my brain, and I was no closer to a decision when I reached the door then I had been when I stepped into the hallway. Hesitantly I pushed the unlocked door open, stepping inside and closing it gently behind me. The room was a complete and total disaster. Furniture lay shattered or ripped to shreds, I looked towards the bedroom hesitantly hoping and praying that Eric hadn't hurt himself, but there he was, naked and kneeling in front of the undamaged bed, oddly enough the one piece of furniture that he hadn't destroyed.

"Eric..." I whispered hesitantly, unsure if I had the right to intrude upon his grief. I had grown closer to Eric in ways I never would have expected; in these last few nights I felt like...there was something about him. Something beyond the darkness and the malice, something so much more then I think even he knew about.

"Godric is gone," Eric whispered raising his head slightly though he did not turn to face me. I moved towards him stepping over a smashed TV on my way.

"I know, I'm so sorry." Sorry couldn't describe how I felt; I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose someone whom you had been so close to for so long. Even though Godric had been relieved to meet the final death he had left Eric to mourn his loss.

I reached out and lightly touched Eric's chin, turning his face towards me. I had never seen Eric look so haggard and the lost look in his eyes broke my heart and I would have given nearly anything to make it go away.

I pressed my lips to his right cheek, slowly trailing over to his left. The scent of his blood was intoxicating, and it was taking what little self-control I had not to lick the tears away. Unsure of my level of control I began to pull away, but the moment I moved Eric reached out and grabbed my hand gently pulling me downwards so that our foreheads touched.

This was wrong, I shouldn't be here with Eric...not like this. Not when he was so vulnerable and I was finding it more and more difficult to remind myself of what he was like most of the time. This whole other side of Eric was so real, and so raw that it was rapidly changing every opinion I had formed about him. Though those had slowly been changing over the last couple days.

His lips touched mine, and I tried to pull away. I tried to remind myself about Bill, about the fact that he loved me and here I was betraying him. Yet Eric's soft hesitant kiss drove thoughts of Bill from my mind as I found myself returning the kiss my hand squeezing his.

The kiss slowly grew more intense with each passing moment and before I knew it my fangs had descended, followed quickly by Eric's fangs. I shifted so that I leaned against the bed and tilted my neck to the side never breaking eye contact.

"This...is only the beginning," he whispered before he leaned over and sank his fangs into my neck. I let out a soft moan and clamped my eyes shut.

If this was the beginning, I could not wait for the end.

* * *

**Author's Note:** And there it ends! For now! I hope I was able to keep everyone as in character as possible while still poking this story along. You never realize how long certain scenes are going to play out until you can't stop writing them! Please let me know if you'd like to see a sequel! It's already plotted out and just waiting to be written.


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